"I dried my eyes, now I crust them with sleep. I crust them over. She begged me, "Don't hate me". She spun me a story... Where winning looks like losing and I'm winning everytime. So thread spools sweetie, thread until my silk is sold..."
"What is love? Baby, don't hurt me, don't hurt me no more. Ooh-oh-ooh-oh-ooh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh, ooh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh, ayyyyy yeah!"
Haha. Silly Lisa.
So sorry I haven't blogged in awhile; school has been quite gruesome and unforgiving.
Anyway, I've recently celebrated my __th birthday. But celebrating a birthday doesn't come with a change in physical stature, or the feeling that you've reached a new milestone in your life (except for the fact that your future is hurtling towards you as quickly as a freight train going 100 miles an hour).
I want to say I gained wisdom on Tuesday, but I don't believe I have.
I could have gotten wiser, but I just don't believe it.
I feel like I've lost all control and all contact with the One that loves me the most.
Sometimes, I feel so unloved all the time, even though I have amazing friends and family that would do anything for me.
The beginning of this year and the end of being fifteen has been the worst time of my life so far.
I totally said, "What has God done for me?"and with that, bid good riddance to Him.
It was hard.
Life was hard.
I guess you could say that life was like that scene in Home Alone (ummm, I want to say Home Alone 1) when the bad guys are trying to climb a rope soaked in kerosene to the top of a building from where Macaulay Culkin is throwing bricks to get back at him, and then Macaulay sneaks down and lights the rope with a match.
I kept slipping and getting those horrid rope burns.
Then I got so many hopeful notes and comments on my Facebook Wall saying that this year will be great. I'm praying they're right.
Praying.
Sorry to totally depress you. Ha, but there concludes the first installment of my blog. Growing Up. Did you see Fall Out Boy's lyrics up there? Growing up (in real life) certainly is not as crude for me, but it's tough.
Mmmmkay. Yay! The happy stuff!
With Valentine's Day being tomorrow, my friends and I went to go celebrate my birthday and we saw the movie Valentine's Day. (No stuff!) It was great.
No really. It was a cute movie. Taylor Swift, though, is a TERRIBLE actress. Stick to singing, sweetie. That's actually working for you. The movie would rest unaffected even if her scenes weren't in the movie.
But it reminded me of what I'm missing, and what tomorrow I will be longing for unless I bury myself in homework and Alice's Adventures In Wonderland. (yes, really. :D )
A friendboyyy. Mhm. Ever since that dream (which I must tell you about -- remind me!), I've longed to find "Liam". *All the love songs in my iTunes library begin to shuffle together* (Yeah. That's his name. Get over it.) Everyone seems so perfect. (Even if they're not.) And I'm sitting here. By myself. Yep. "Oh, sweetie, love will find you someday."
*disgruntled huff*
Maybe. (Haha. Annie! Blech.)
I like several guys, one in particular who hasn't made the best decisions ever (I think I have a draft of that on here somewhere... don't think I'll post it... Anyway!), but he, right now, possess most of the characteristics of Liam. Do I go for it? People say yes, but I think I want a boyfriend to have one and to feel loved and tiny. And to avoid the awkwardness of asking someone to be my date to the Band Banquet. (Shallow? Yes. Shutup.)
Anyway, that brings us to the close of this week, when I felt the most enjoyable. Monday was a hellhole (I had tons of homework and didn't get out of practice until 7:40 that night). Then Tuesday came. The weeks of crying myself to sleep had gone away. And Wednesday, although that guy (who I am convinced believes I am stalking him) totally blew me off at our NHS meeting, he poked his usual fun at me at Octathlon practice. It was too cute. Friday, my new favorite teacher (and Octathlon coach), Prof. Bollich made me realize that we all (on the team) possess an inner geek. And then I realized I have a team of people (including Him) and that guy (and Liam...) who have an inner geek that will always stand behind me and love me.
Alright, I'm tired. I'm done.
OOH! Almost forgot---The Olympics! (Your blog never ends!!!)
-I was heartbroken by the tragic passing of Georgian luger Nodar Kumaritashvili. :[ RIP
-And freakin' Americans! --Our EXCESSIVE coverage didn't allow the Uzbekistani athletes to have their moments of fame. Just because we've got the most athletes doesn't mean we can hog the camera! Ghana (w00t! Ghana!) got our first and only winter athlete this year! (And we got camera space for him!!! Grrr.)
-I remember the chick who sang the Canadian national anthem from the French High School Musical 2 DVD. She only a day my senior! Way to go, almost twin! (Except you're dating that wiener Justin Bieber.)
-Yay! We Are The World music video. Amazing. :]
-Kanye West: Canadians, Imma letchoo finish, but Beijing had the best opening ceremonies of all time. *I still like you, Canadians. I'm proud you showed what's important. I really enjoyed it.*
-Okay, I realize French and English are the official languages of the Olympics and Canada, but if a country's name is practically the same in both languages, why repeat it? Can the French speakers only hear the lady speaking French? Sigh. Questions. People.
Well, I'm pretty sure I've covered a month and a half here. So I'm done now. (Finally!)
This will be a great year. I know it.
Lots of love,
Lisa♥ :]
No comments:
Post a Comment