Monday, March 14, 2011

Narcissism at its Best

A [raw, uncut] page from the journal of Lisa:


There is so much I miss out on because I act so vapidly. I've become vain, shallow. There is no depth to a lot of what I think, if I actually am thinking at all.
I mentally pick on those who don't fit into my stereotype for them, and those boxes that I put them in are incredibly tiny, like the way I feel sometimes.


There are so many Christians who are "better" than me, and because I let my greed get the better of me, I feel entitled to be the best.
But God isn't a competition. Why should He be?
Really, nothing should be a competition.


I can't allow people to teach me what they want to teach me; I also have to learn for myself.
Right now, other people are writing my life story for me. They're piloting the plane in which He and I sit idly. I could go on with the with my poor analogies, but I digress: 


God is the solution to my problems, and I just have to let him lead. 


My world is slowly crumbling beneath my feet, and He is the only Repairman capable of fixing it.

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